Exploits of the Human Heart
by When Darkness Rises
Summary: Bakura lands in jail, and Ryou bails him out with one question: How the hell did the King of Thieves get caught? Tendershipping. Gift fic for Irasemma.


**A/N: Wow, I haven't written YuGiOh in forever. And this is also my first yaoi that doesn't just hint at it. This is for my friend Irasemma who recently joined the community. :D And, 120 yen = $1. **

"**Exploits of the Human Heart"**

After surviving countless lifetimes in darkness, one would think Bakura had grown used to cells. Or, at the very at least, would appreciate the spaciousness and light of a jail cell in downtown Domino. As it turns out, it drove the now-human mad—well, not _as_ mad as wanting to take down the pharaoh.

It began nearly month ago, when Isis visited from Egypt, she came with a certain breed of magic. It could free both yamis under a certain condition: they would become human. Yami took the choice without a second thought, happy to cherish time with his hikari without touching through Yugi's skin. Bakara wanted nothing more to have a separate body. But being _human_? The notion was flatly ridiculous!

But the choice didn't affect just Bakura. Ryou also had a say in the matter. While Bakura had been resting from his latest expedition of plotting against the Pharaoh, the small teenager rushed to the hotel the Ishtar family resided. With a panting breath, Ryou knocked at the door.

And thus, the two Bakuras detached from each other.

Being the King of Thieves, Bakura's reputation must have been upheld with the very upmost dignity of such a king—even if the world had never heard him. Thanks to his fresh body and relinquishment of shadow powers, Bakura practiced with smaller acts of villainy—stealing children's candy, pranking Ryou's friends, pickpocketing, and vandalism.

_If_, by the smallest of small chances, Bakura was caught, he dreamed of it being grand. Like destroying the Great Wall of China, dismembering the Diet, or robbing the Pope and Dalai Lama on the same day. Returning to humanity, the thief forgot many things. One of which, dreams don't always come true.

So he sat on a cement bench inside his homey cell shared by another man. The stranger wore a torn, lurid shirt, showing off his muscles. He had gelled black hair, both on his head and chin. With a wicked smile and gruff voice, he said,

"Whatchya in for?"

Bakura opened one eye, then closed it, and kept his arms folded. The stranger was an obvious yakuza thug; the thief seen many during his exploits in Ryou's body. He had no time for idiots so easily robbed.

"A quiet punk, eh?" The thug leaned against the wall, glaring into space. "Tch."

"You did something splendid, I'm sure."

"Damn straight."

"Yeah? Let me guess. Stabbed one of your whores? Got schooled by the mafia? Spit on the emperor's shoes before shining them?"

All this was said with closed eyes, it being too much trouble to look at the raging thug. He heard the heavy thumps of the thug's boot as the stomped in front of the thief. The thug breathed heavily, his hot breath hitting Bakura's face. At last, he opened his eyes.

"I killed a man," the thug spoke with cold enthusiasm in futile hopes of scaring Bakura.

Still sitting, Bakura burst into maniacal laughter, causing the thug to take several steps back.

"A man? You killed _a_ man? One?" He cackled. "Silly, silly humans. All of you!" He hopped to his feet and backed the frightened thug to the wall. "Me? I've robbed countlessly." He grinned, sharp canines protruding, "I've witnessed slaughters and started them! I'm the goddamn King of Thieves. So I suggest just spreading the word to that gang of yours, if you get out of this alive."

The thug panted and pushed hands out in hopes of defending himself from the lunatic. "Whoa, man, chill." His back hit the wall, and the cell opening leered humorlessly behind the man who'd mostly be his death. "Oh _fuck_," he muttered.

Bakura pressed his fist next to the thug's neck, leaned in, and whispered. "Sorry, pal, holdin' out. Tell ya what though, I'm sure—"

Before Bakura could install further fear into the now quivering heap on the floor, a cough interjected his lethal progress. The thief looked over his shoulder at his hikari who waved meekly.

"Hey Bakura," he greeted with a smile.

Bakura's arm fell from the mucked wall as he turned around. "Yo. Bailing me out?"

Ryou sighed. "It seems I have no choice. " He blinked, and his yami was only inches away, mere metal columns between them. Ryou attempted giving Bakura the sternest stare he could muster. "Don't get any ideas. It's the money from your stash. Under the mattress isn't as ingenious as thousands of years ago."

Later that day…

The duo walked casually home. Bakura had an arm slumped around a red faced Ryou's shoulders. The thief didn't see the problem of people staring. Ryou was his after all—even if the hikari had yet to fully display any feelings.

With a disgruntled groan, Ryou asked, "So tell me, O' Great Thief—

"That's King of Thieves."

"Fine. O' King of Thieves, what grand scheme landed you in jail this time?"

Bakura paused dramatically. "It all started two weeks ago, when I spotted a woman at the bank. She deposited rubies in the bank. Naturally, I laid down the charm."

"The bail was 10,000 yen. What _really_ happened?"

"Fine. I—"

"Hey you guys!"

Of all things, err, people to be walking on the same street, it just _had_ to Jou and Honda. The blonde and brunette waved happily at the two Bakuras. Ryou tried moving Bakura's lead arm off him as the other two drew near. What would they think? Bakura sensed this and just drew him closer. They could nearly feel their hearts beat, Ryou's more rapidly. The thief smirked.

Ryou waved. As they chatted, Bakura gleefully tormented an old lady. After five minutes, Jou and Honda left. Ryou pulled his yami away from the woman, but didn't bother reprimanding him to give the wallet back.

"So, Bakura, you were saying?"

The man in question gave an annoyed grunt. "It's nothing."

Ryou tugged playfully on his sleeve as he walked backwards. "C'mon, I bailed you out."

"With my damn money."

"I could let you rot." His fingers didn't let go of the sleeve.

"Nah, not with my lovable personality." Bakura broke away of Ryou's grasp. Before the hikari got disheartened, he held his hand. "'sides what would ya do without me?"

"Live off a fairly normal life and not worry about your villainous tendencies." His cheeks reddened at the abnormal affection Bakura displayed. For all the terrible things the ancient man had done, Bakura had never put his life on true danger.

Once being reawakened as human, Bakura experienced emotions no longer forgotten. His lust, during the first week, had gone out of control. Though the thief, admittedly, loved when life didn't grip its handle, he had felt something was missing. It hit him, a lot like the time a crypt nearly collapsed after stealing an amulet. Ryou was always during the drunken stupors and wounds from various exploits. Since then, Bakura hadn't stopped trying to steal his hikari's heart. (And, hopefully, his pants.)

They had grown closer; a little flirting here and playful touching there. Nothing serious, Ryou wasn't ready. Yet, Bakura, as always, had a plan.

"Normal is boring," retorted Bakura. "And I am not a villain; I just like to participate in illegal activities."

"Which brings me back to my original question: how did you get caught for a crime for a bail of only 10,000 yen?"

"Ah, look where we are."

Back home.

"Bakura, stop avoiding my question!" The questionable man merely pulled his hikari up the apartment stairs in through the door. Ryou gasped. "Oh my…"

He smiled at his smaller partner. "Do you like?"

In the middle of their living room stood a canvas of his favorite duel card: Change of Heart. He broke from Bakura's hand to touch the canvas lovingly. It wasn't a print, but a real painting. The brush strokes, the swirls of coloring all coming together in create a beautiful masterpiece.

"How?"

"I have connections… and money."

"_Illegal _money," he pointed out, but didn't take his eyes away from it. He absolutely adored it. He turned to Bakura. "B-but, if you stole this and got caught how did you get this here? And how did the bail only add up to 10,000?"

"It helps that I didn't steal it."

"Wait. _What_?"

He shrugged. "I can't steal what doesn't exist, so I used the money I stole to pay for it. I called Malik while in jail to set it up."

"Huh. Then how'd you end up in jail?"

"Theft. At a convenient store."

"Go on."

"I pickpocketed duel monster card packets. I wanted only the occult ones. I began opening the packets, and that's when security caught me."

Ryou stepped closer to Bakura, and jail bars didn't stand in their way. "The King of Thieves doesn't get caught."

Bakura smirked and pulled his hikari's hips closer. "He does when he can't stop thinking about you." His eyebrow raised as Ryou tiptoed to peck him on the lips.

"Why?" He whispered in the thief's ear, soft breath tickling.

_Because I want to get in your pants?_

"The month anniversary of getting separate bodies."

"And getting in my pants. We still share thoughts. Nonetheless, thank you."

They kissed again, more than just a peck.

**A/N: I don't like all the dialogue at the end, but whatever. Please comment in the reviews and critique. :D**


End file.
